boundaries
I told him to get his stuff in the basement weeks ago, he didn’t- I said I would sell it. Friday, he threatened to come in the house again. He informed me that he would anytime he wanted and he had every right to
I told him to stay away from me and he said just because he shows up to my events and hangs around me, doesn’t mean he’s harassing me.
Friday, I broke down in tears in front of J. because the thought that he will be able to push me around forever makes me want to scream. He stands in front of me and threatens me when no one is listening and then writes these sappy emails about remaining civil for “our beautiful children”
I finally went to the police. The detective told me he doesn’t have the right to go into my house, regardless who is responsible for the rent. She told me I don’t have to take this and that it is not uncommon for men to use their kids to harass and stalk their ex wives. The detective said- just tell him that he must respect your boundaries.
I laughed and told her that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. And it really is. The whole camp thing was a perfect example- I knew he was coming- I just wanted him to go put his tent somewhere else. It’s a hundred and fucking nine acres and he put his tent 10 feet from mine. “because I couldn’t find him a spot” His whole point was to just make sure I knew that my boundaries were not respected at camp either.
I’m past doubting my sanity here, but it does give me pause. He writes “it’s hard for a rational person to understand your point of view”. Is it? Is it that unusual for a person who went through an acrimonious divorce to want their ex husband to stay the fuck out of their house and stay the fuck away from their social events and just generally stay the fuck away?? Am I overreacting when he tells me he will come in my house anytime he wants? I have been raped. I have been beat up. I was abused by my own father. not much feels as violating as him telling me he will come into my house whenever he feels like it.
It’s not enough that I have drawn a line in the sand- now I want him to see it.